This blog has been a few weeks in the making. When you don’t have anything especially nice to say, it’s tempting to say nothing; however, I’ve decided that whether or not I can come up with anything nice, I’d like to at least say something true.
The truth is, the process of moving to and living in Mozambique has been one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. The reasons are multiple and intertwined and somewhat still undefined.
It’s not that there is nothing to find joy in but almost every day I’m faced with my own inabilities and the feeling that I’m in over my head. Every day I’m presented with the option to retreat and wave the white flag or to brush it aside and keep going. It can come in the guise of a cultural frustration, a botched attempt at Portuguese, a glimpse at the steep learning curve I’m on, or scrolling through my pictures remembering when I used to have good hair and didn’t sweat so much. The list goes on and the reasons to agree with failure are valid. While I haven’t gotten as close as researching plane tickets home, there are plenty of nights I go to bed certain I’ve gotten it all wrong.
It’s in these moments that I’ve learned and truly felt the power of thankfulness. When everything here seems overwhelming and completely out of my hands, I can thank God for the fact that He opened the door for me to be here in the first place. That He actually followed through and brought me back here and has provided for me each step of the way.
The other night I was staring out at the city from my new balcony and contemplating life (it’s kind of my hobby). I was talking with the Lord about faith and being here and in a moment was flooded with emotion at the honor it is to be in a hard season. Because here, in the midst of uncertainty and your flesh screaming no, keeping a soft heart before the Lord is a costly thing. Your ‘yes’ becomes that much more valuable and it does not go unnoticed before Him. What an honor it is to be able to offer God something of worth, something that He treasures.
It doesn’t feel good, but I’m finding that some promises worth attaining don’t come easily. Even after the Israelites made it into Canaan, they still had to till the soil and go to war to clear the land. The process after receiving the promise doesn’t mean it wasn’t meant for you in the first place. It just means you have to keep going. The sweetness you’ll discover along the way will be that much tastier because of what it took to get there. Or at least I hope so…I’ll let you know when I find out. Or maybe you can let me know when you get there.
Either way, no matter what happens, DON’T QUIT.
If you’re called there, the land is bound to bear fruit eventually.